IT'S TOP CHEF NIGHT!

Here's the thing about Heidi. I love her like a sister. But she doesn't "get" Top Chef. I've tried to explain its awesomeness. I've even talked her into viewing an episode (even though it took the producers of LOST to convince her). And apparently she still just doesn't "get" it. What's to get, I say?

There's drama! There's excitement! There's a guy with a funny name! And a bow tie!


There's a chick with a tattoo! Right on her neck! OW!

There's a chick wearing a nightgown and some cowboy boots! Nice!


There's...

an oompaloompa?

(Seriously. What's up with the orange face, Michael Voltaggio? It doesn't matter how many awards you've won if you glow in the dark.)

Honestly. I can't wait! Heidi doesn't know what she's missing.